This is why I need a captain hat. Well really I’ve always wanted one.. and they run about (only) $20 on eBay.. but you can’t quite tell if it’s going to be amazing, or the let down of the century. As in, way worse than discovering Lance Armstrong was doping and didn’t naturally win 1.8 thousand Tour de France titles. I don’t know if my heart could handle it. So until the day I decide to bite the bullet and make the investment.. I will just longingly look on at these others who have successfully gone where I have not – to the sea.